Clik here to view.
March 4, 2014 – Monologue Jokes
1. For $9,600, fans of former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton can rent a luxury suite for her scheduled June speech near Denver, part of a package that includes seats for 26 guests. “That’s a...
View ArticleClik here to view.
March 5, 2014 – Monologue Jokes
1. Singer Taylor Swift has taken out a restraining order on a 33-year-old man who claims to be her husband. Despite the legal action, this is still Swift’s most successful relationship to date. 2. An...
View ArticleClik here to view.
January 16, 2015 – Monologue Jokes
1. A woman in China has been arrested after she cut off her husband’s penis, followed him to the hospital and then cut it off a second time after it was reattached by doctors. Said the husband, “A...
View ArticleClik here to view.
January 19, 2015 – Monologue Jokes
1. As a result of the U.S. government issuing new rules and easing restrictions, Americans are now allowed to travel to Cuba. Said Americans, “It’s not the ‘to’ part of the trip we’re concerned about.”...
View ArticleClik here to view.
February 19, 2015 – Monologue Jokes
1. On Wednesday, Republican Presidential hopeful Jeb Bush criticized President Obama’s approach to Iran’s nuclear efforts saying negotiations aren’t working. Asked what he would do, Bush said, “Invade...
View ArticleClik here to view.
February 20, 2015 – Monologue Jokes
1. On Wednesday, former New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani said he does not believe President Obama loves America. Because who better to take advice on love from than a guy who’s been married three...
View ArticleClik here to view.
February 23, 2015 – Monologue Jokes
1. During the Oscar telecast, in a nod to the nominated film “Birdman,” host Neil Patrick Harris appeared on stage in nothing but his underwear. Or, as Kim Kardashian referred to it, overdressed. 2. JK...
View ArticleClik here to view.
February 24, 2015 – Monologue Jokes
1. Italian soccer player Martin Castrogiovanni is set to miss Saturday’s Six Nations match against Scotland after being bitten on the nose by a friend’s dog. Said Castrogiovanni, “Thank god I only put...
View ArticleClik here to view.
February 27, 2015 – Monologue Jokes
1. Two escaped llamas led authorities in Phoenix on a long chase on Thursday as audiences nationwide were captivated by the live feed on their TVs. The last time America was this focused on a police...
View ArticleClik here to view.
March 3, 2015 – Monologue Jokes
1. In an interview on Sunday, painter Nelson Shanks said he hid the shadow of Monica Lewinsky’s infamous blue dress in a portrait of former-President Bill Clinton that hangs in the National Portrait...
View ArticleClik here to view.
October 22, 2015 – Monologue Jokes
1. Presidential candidate Donald Trump was scheduled to appear on “Jimmy Kimmel Live” Tuesday night, but cancelled at the last second. Trump cancelled presumably because he found a younger, hotter talk...
View ArticleClik here to view.
January 22, 2016 – Monologue Jokes
1. The number of tourists visiting New York City rose to a record high in 2015, with nearly 60 million people making the trip. To give you an idea of how many people that is, if those 60 million...
View ArticleClik here to view.
January 28, 2015 – Monologue Jokes
1. In a new interview, Democratic presidential candidate Bernie Sanders said he generally believes in God. “I used to” said no-longer-front-runner Hillary Clinton. 2. Singer Jennifer Lopez accidentally...
View ArticleClik here to view.
February 11, 2016 – Monologue Jokes
1. Some people are calling for a boycott of Beyonce because her Superbowl halftime back-up dancers were dressed like Black Panthers. Because, as Cam Newton showed, black panthers aren’t supposed to...
View ArticleClik here to view.
February 12, 2016 – Monologue Jokes
1. On Thursday, the Congressional Black Caucus endorsed Hillary Clinton for president. An endorsement that would have helped out a lot more eight years ago. 2. According to a new study, toddlers who...
View ArticleClik here to view.
February 22, 2016 – Monologue Jokes
1. After his fourth-place finish in Saturday’s South Carolina primary, Jeb Bush dropped out of the Republican presidential race. As a result, Donald Trump was forced to buy an actual punching-bag to...
View ArticleClik here to view.
February 29, 2016 – Monologue Jokes
1. According to a new survey, more young voters would rather have a meal with Bernie Sanders than Beyonce. So, hope you like herring with a side of schmaltz, kids. 2. On Friday, former-Mexican...
View ArticleClik here to view.
March 1, 2016 – Monologue Jokes
1. On Monday, the NFL said the so-called Gronkowski cruise, in which Patriots tight-end Rob Gronkowski made a paid appearance on a four-day cruise Norwegian Cruise, is not being investigated by the...
View ArticleClik here to view.
March 3, 2016 – Monologue Jokes
1. Over the weekend, a woman attempted to board a flight at Baltimore-Washington International Airpot with gun-themed shoes. “You had me at ‘gun-themed’ and lost me at ‘shoes,’” said Oscar Pistorius....
View ArticleClik here to view.
March 18, 2016 – Monologue Jokes
1. After winning their opening games of the NCAA Tournament, Duke and Yale will play each other on Saturday in Rhode Island. The match-up will be so white and privileged that it is already the front...
View Article